WordSense
/Recently a friend said to me, “I like it when you post articles about how to write better and speak more effectively. Those are the things I most like to read in the Speakeasy.” On one hand, that’s great, because that’s the kind of stuff with which I love to grapple. On the other hand, it stinks, because I really can’t find anything new to say. I just keep harping about the same old things, and American speech and writing (even the “professional” kind – perhaps mostly the “professional” kind) just gets more and more problematic.
But, here’s to you, Jean! I’ll do my best to provide an update on the language that still drives me crazy every day. I know my readers (bless their hearts!) are busy, so I’m going to make this as concise as possible: ten rules. Should that deliberate concision translate as frustration or impatience, so be it. I’m as sick of the steady degradation of American English as you are. Hang on tight – things might get rough.
The word “a” is always, without exception, correctly pronounced “uh.” It is never correct to pronounce it “ay,” even if you’re a television host or commentator who doesn’t read particularly well on-screen and hopes to sound “professional.” Read more here: The Word is “uh,” not “ay.”
There is no such thing as a “restofyourday.” Don’t tell someone to “have a good restofyourday.” (Certainly don’t tell me that!) Can’t you offer “Enjoy the rest of your day” or “Have a good afternoon”? Who created this monster? It only grows. Kill it!
90% of the time we “use” things. Rarely do we actually “utilize” things. To utilize means to use for a purpose for which it was not intended or to use for monetary gain, yet we see writers and speakers misapplying that word all the time! Are they trying to sound smart? Important? “Professional”? When we consistently misuse one word (utilize), ignoring the practical, precise word (use), we sideline half the pair, gradually removing it from our verbal exchanges, eventually rendering it lifeless and forgotten. That decreases the nuance of human expression. Read more at “I Guess it’s Just Useless” or “Utilize this!” or “Why the $10 Word, Folks?”
And, by the way, did you notice my use of the word “verbal” above? Are you aware that “verbal” means made of words. It is not synonymous with “oral.” Verbal language includes all language made of words, written or oral. It is, therefore, incorrect to substitute the word “verbal” for “oral.” Both written and oral language are “verbal.” If it’s written instead of spoken, it’s still “verbal.”
Now, remembering what we just said about “use” and “utilize” above, let’s deal with another pair of simple words being massacred: “may” and “might.” It used to be that we said “may” to refer to permission and “might” to refer to possibility or likelihood. Now “may” is being forced to carry the water for both words. You rarely hear or read “might” anymore. Again, what we lose is nuanced meaning. Such a shame. You might want to read “Wait! He Might be a Good President” or “Might You Have Lost this Little Word? Seriously?”
I want to talk about the ridiculous use of “of” (mostly in spoken language, I suspect). That said, it’s very difficult to explain how/why it is grammatically nonsensical to say “too big of a problem” or “too high of a price” or “too scary of a movie to take the children.” I could show you by diagramming the sentences, but I well remember the moment we English teachers were instructed, in the early 1990s, to cease teaching sentence diagraming because “it doesn’t improve writing.” So, there! Can’t show you a diagram to clarify things. (If you want to diagram sentences with me, let me know. We’ll secretly collude in that clandestine activity.) Today, you’ll have to trust me that the correct construction is:
It’s too big a problem to solve. It is a problem. What kind? Big. How big? Too big.
It’s too high a price for my budget. It is a price. What kind? High. How high? Too high.
It’s too scary a movie for children. It is a movie. What kind? Scary. How scary? Too scary.
And then there’s that ridiculous expression, “based off.” Know what I mean? People say, “Our decision was based off our experience last year,” or “The budget is based off profit and loss reports for the past five cycles.” No! When you set a trophy on its base, you set it... well, obviously... ON its base. When you are safe in a baseball game, you are ON the base, not off it. For heaven’s sake! It’s based on past experience. It’s based on reports. Nothing is meaningfully based off! Make sense?
It’s the e-LECT- or-al college. Not the e-lect- OR – al college. It’s an eLECTion and an eLECTorate. It’s never e-lect-OR-al; it’s always e-LECT-or-al. Where did this foolishness come from? Read about the pronunciation here: “Electoral College.”
Myriad people misuse the word “myriad” in myriad instances. Get the point? “Myriad” is an adjective. I know, I know: We’re not allowed to teach that stuff anymore. But the point is, it’s not a thing. It’s incorrect to say “I saw a myriad of mosquitoes on my porch.” You saw myriad mosquitoes. No “of.” You can also see myriad stars in the sky and myriad weeds in my flower garden. For better understanding, read this: “Myriad – Is any Word More Often Misused?”
Do you have less writing problems than I have? Uh, likely not. Perhaps you have fewer writing problems than I have. Does your neighbor have less weeds in his garden than you have in yours? No. He has fewer weeds. It’s so simple: If you can measure them, it’s less. If you can count them, it’s fewer. For example:
Fewer worms in the bait box will mean less fishing for you.
If you have fewer hours to fish, you’ll have less to eat for dinner.
I’d like less salad on my plate and fewer fries, but more fish, please.
To learn more, read “Less or Fewer?”
Oh, well... The demise of American English continues. If any of those ten tips can help one writer or speaker avoid just one hapless sentence, perhaps we are making progress. I can only hope...