Boy, it feels good to watch TV these days! I know, I know – I’ve recently trounced TV programming for offering little uplifting entertainment, as it did in a bygone era. And last August I boldly reported (perhaps “complained”?) that I’d watched 250 commercials in seven hours of television viewing (which was true). I noted that NBC Nightly News aired 34 different product commercials in 30 minutes of programming! In that same article I also reported that, according to my data, 15% of commercial spots are sponsored by pharmaceuticals, which seemed a much smaller percentage than I’d expected.
Well, you’ll be happy to know that I decided to revisit that top 15% recently with this goal in mind: Watch TV as I normally would for five days, and jot down all the drug and medication commercials just to see what I might find. (I hear you saying, “Get a life,” yes, I do hear you.)
Now, granted, those happened to be five days of extra-heavy political activity, so I might have watched more TV than usual. Still, I’m here to tell you how good it all made me feel. How thankful, how relieved, how very lucky I am! I learned about no less than 39 preventatives, antidotes, cures and restoratives in those five days of ordinary (if slightly heavy) viewing. And did it make me feel grateful!
Grateful that I’ve never had a Movantik moment and I don’t need to worry whether I’m Farsiga ready. I’m thrilled I don’t have to break through allergies with Allegra and I don’t need Ensure to be certain I won’t let anything hold me back. I’m satisfied that I make everyday progress and am quite carb-steady with no Glucerna in my diet. I am satisfied that I have no questions about mesothelioma, and I don’t need Otezla to let the real me show through. My life is complete without a Xeljanz “unjection.”
Now, I am not in any way casting aspersions on folks who need and use these remedies. Some are by prescription only, and I have confidence they are appropriately prescribed by excellent doctors. In fact, I came across Cortizone 10, with “power over the itch,” and had to admit that I wasn’t using it, simply because I had something even stronger in my medicine cabinet. Still, my confidence in my own good health continued to climb as I watched. I was not trying to stay ahead of IBSD with Viberzi (although I think those ads with the darling young redhead in a body suit playing a colon are catchy), nor was I needing to raise my expectations and find that control is possible with Humira.
So far I’ve never had to take Bayer to prevent ischemic stroke, thank heavens, and I don’t have to banish the burn with Nexium. I have a better a.m. without need of any Aleve PM, and I do take a break, but not as an option to taking Rolaids. I feel victorious knowing I’ve never had to look into the gradual release technology of SeaBond or rely on Osteo Biflex Ease simply because I’m made to move. No Kerasol for toenail fungus in my medicine cabinet; no Victoza for a better moment of proof; no Brilinta, even though I am sure my heart is worth Brilinta! No Fungi-Nail or Wax-X either.
How good to realize I can muddle no more without Zyrtec and I am not missing a piece of my life without Breo. As a Baby Boomer, I am grateful I do not need Harvoni to say goodbye to Hepatitis C, nor do I need Bexsero to control Meningitis B. I don’t rely on Trulicity to activate what’s already in me or Stelara to show up in that dress. While I have no intention of showing more of me, I’m happy I wouldn’t need Otezla to do so.
I know that six is greater than one, but I didn’t know it changes everything, perhaps because I’ve never had a close encounter with Flonase. I don’t care for the Biotene commercials and am deeply grateful I don’t have dry mouth. I suppose Prevagen is the name to remember, perhaps because it comes from a jellyfish, and I’m eternally grateful my whole day doesn’t stop because I didn’t take Aleve. I have no use for the fast relief of Sinex, and I think the Xyzal commercial is one of the worst I’ve ever seen: an owl advising me to be a “wise al with Xyzal.” (Seriously!)
Finally, I have no idea what Preservision is, but then I don’t know what AMD is either. Maybe I have AMD and need Preservision. Who knows? The product that came closest to “outing” me was Restasis – “your eyes, your tears.” Probably the only reason I don’t use that product is that I’ve been using Systane for dry eyes for as long as I can remember. (Even before Jennifer Aniston started giving herself some EyeLove.)
And that’s it! My day doesn’t stop, and I don’t have to break through anything. I’m making everyday progress, and nothing’s holding me back. I don’t think I’m in a muddle or doing nothing but controlling my symptoms. I’m so happy that what’s already inside of me activates itself, and I probably don’t need to raise my expectations.
Once again, let me say that I am not at all intending to denigrate folks who use these products or doctors who prescribe them. We all need a little help from the wonders of modern medicine from time to time. I simply want to point out that, if you pay attention to the commercials – and the greatest number of them fall into the category of drugs, pharmaceuticals and curatives – you will see how much you’re missing, and you will feel darned good about it. Sometimes that’s the only victory you get in a week, so give it a try.